WHEN A BIRD SINGS....

I just so happened to be listening to Aaliyah's "one in a million"...and wow, I miss Aaliyah...I wonder what would the R&B music be if she was still living...but anyways this blog is not about Aaliyah.. When this CD came out...I think I was in the 6th grade because I remember getting for my 6th grade promotion...and I'm just thinking about a love that is one in a million...a soulmate...does that really exist? Is there really only one person on this earth that you are meant to be with? Well I've been thinking a lot about whether or not my life is pre-destined...I believe that I am here for a purpose...what that purpose is, I am not sure...but I do know that God has a purpose for me...so maybe I believe the decisions that I am make allow me to determine my own destiny...however, if I have a purpose, then are the decisions something that was going to happen anyways? I said that to say because then that would mean that along the journey of life that is "prede...

Is it normal to get jealous? To be mad because he is having fun with someone? To get angry because I called wasn't answered or a return phone call wasn't within 10 minutes? Does love have anything to do with being jealous? Or is it an ego thing? Why do we get jealous if there is trust? Can there really be trust if you get jealous? Because you feel that way does it mean that you think he's unfaithful? How normal is jealousy? Are girls more jealous than boys?

If no one calls you "Primetime", then LEAVE THE EARRINGS FOR GIRLS!! (fyi even Deion left them with the 90s)

American Heritage Dictionary defines smart: Characterized by sharp quick thought; bright. See Synonyms at intelligent . American Heritage Dictionary defines intelligent: having good understanding or a high mental capacity; quick to comprehend, as persons or animals Probably since the 9th grade, I have stopped calling myself "smart". I just stop believing that I was a smart person. I didn't think getting A's in school was the result of being "smart"; however, I was just doing my work. When I got to college I continued to do my work. I also learned ways to get over...I don't want to go into detail about that because I don't want to promote it. In my professional life, I never considered myself to be "smart" because I just believed that I had become skilled. I've thought for a long time that most people definition of "smart" is very limiting. This excludes people from identifying themselves as being smart, and a lot of times thi...

For the longest time, I longed for my generation to have a hero. I wonder what it would have been like to wake up to a sermon by MLK, a speech by Malcolm X, or a rally by Huey P. Newton. I wonder what it was like to no longer be compliant and have mass of people rise together to fight against the status quo... On November 4th, I no longer wonder...but I felt I started to believe!! I had hope!! I looked at the television and watch the first Black man elected to be the president of the US. I felt patriotic!! I wanted to sing "I'm proud to be an American." Barack Obama has inspired me...he has done nothing, but campaign...and I feel hope. Michelle Obama will be my next first lady!! For the first time in my young life, I said "MY FIRST LADY." I didn't think that I would experience knowing how it feels to have a hero, but I love it!! I aspire to have the same Black Love!! I am proud to call the OBAMAS my first family. The first time that I believe that people has...

Now, that I am back in Oakland....I am surrounded by the hyphy theme...which is cool because it makes me feel right at home...All I am asking is that people from the Bay Area know how to turn it on and OFF!!

For a very long time, I've been feeling like I want something more to add to myself... Its been as if I am unhappy with just being me.... Yesterday, something came to me...and I started to make more sense to myself.... This whole time, I've been searching for something out of myself, but I realized that I just want out this person that I believed was me.... I have been living my life in a box....inside these walls, I have mapped out my life...Go to grad school, get a degree by 25, start my career, and marry by thirty...(just to give a snapshop) When things stray away from my percieve "roadmap", I have equated it to failure...My need to succeed really only comes from a fear of failure...yes, this is a good thing; however, it is limiting if I only see "success" as being one way... No longer will I live inside of this box...I am breaking down these walls, and giving myself some options...follow my heart, my passion, my strengths.... I wonder...What would Obama ...

YES!! I am 23 and with out a little package. Today that is a hug accomplishment. Now that I am back in Oakland, I see how many people that I grew up with that have kids. It has become so widespread that this is the norm. When guys approach me and express interest...they always ask if I have kids. I look at them like "naw, and why would you think that". However, it is so popular out here that I can see why. Sh*t, guys probably are starting to ask girls this as freshmen in high school. I see a lot of girls that use to come to the recreation center where I worked have kids or are expecting. I know people that I went to high school with who have kids that are preparing for kindergarten, and some are working on their second and third child. Ya know, it is everyone personal decision about when they want to start a family. This is not meant to offend or diss anyone who has made that decision. All I know is that I am not ready. I believe that when you have a child you now have to put...

Here is an updated picture of me, since I last spoke about my weight. This is a little more than a month later. With, on average, about 3 times a week at the gym. So here is my progress!! I guess I went with my gut...and said "get rid of the gut, the hell with the booty"...

The purpose of this blog is to share information that I find interesting. I utilize it to get things off my mind that I think about, and also share experiences that may be helpful or even funnie to some people. I have enjoyed having my own space that I can say whatever the hell I want to; however, I haven't enjoyed not receiving COMMENTS!! LOL... I would appreciate that if you read my blog, and it sparks some thought...then make a comment on the post. I would like to read what other people think about things that I think about. Anyway, my inspiration for this blog was "EATFREELUNCH.BLOGSPOT.COM"...so a little advertisement for the homie Daghe blog!!

I feel like we don't have any sense of trust these days. "Don't trust no one but your self"..Uhh, i'm not sure how I feel about this statement. If everyone just trust themselves, then what happens to our relationships... I have noticed a popular belief among young people my age that are involve in relationships. The whole "you never know what they are doing." This statement sort of implies that it is okay to cheat because "you never know what they are doing" and you don't want to look stupid. Why are we so afraid to put trust in the people that we are involved with. This is why many relationships are dismantled because there is no trust. I understand when people do something that makes you lose trust in them, but I don't feel like we are giving that initial sense of trust. We are so cautious about people who we work with, call friends, ect. However, we put trust into people we don't even know. Do you know how many strangers you trus...

Guys, please stop tucking your shirts behind some bedazzled belt buckle!! Its just not hot!!

So, don't judge me!! Yea, I dated two boys that were cousins. It is pretty scandalous when I put it down on paper and its something that I would never do again. Cousin #1: I had the biggest crush on him when I was in junior high school. I would just melt when he said one word to me. However we were like 5 years apart in age, so I just knew he wasn't going to mess with a youngin. Until, one evening I was coming from Muay Thai practice (yea, I kick ass) and it was around 10p. I was waiting for the bus downtown Oakland and he walks up. He stops and speaks to me. We engage in some great dialogue and we get on the same bus!! After getting pretty close to my destination, he asked from my number. I had to tell him that at 14 I don't think my mom would let me talk to a 19 year old......so I gave him my email. After emailing and letting my mom know (she met him and liked him) we started to date. I guess once I had access to something that I had wanted so bad...the fire started to di...

Yea, the University of California fling!! That was my freshman year. I would visit UCB very frequently because I had friends that I went to high school with there. I also went home a lot my freshman year, and the UC Berkeley $10 roundtrip shuttle bus was the business!! Because I was at the UCB campus so much...it felt like my extended campus. I went to their parties, dorms, step shows, etc. I started to see this one guy....uhh, Marcus. So Marcus was a little cutie pie. I would see him at everything college related in the Bay Area, it was kinda weird. So, I started to inquire about him. I knew a little information about him because I had spoke to him on a few occasions. I asked a few of my friends about him and whether or not they knew him. They gave me the lowdown scope. I told them to put in a good word for me and to let him know that I was tryna see what was up. Well it ended up being that we were apart of the same club (was I was a member of the club on my campus). So o...

I just hate it when people are in the right hand lane and I need to turn right and I have to wait til the light change because they want to go straight. I'm like "Get out my way"

Whats up with the scarves around the neck!! It has become way to obsessive!! Why are people in the club with a scarf around their neck!! Hello everybody...if you didn't know...its the summer time!!

Why do people hot box cigarettes? Even if everyone in the car smoke cigarettes, please roll down your windows!!

This 80s craze has just gotten out of control. I don't mind it, but in small doses. All I'm saying is can we just take it down a notch. For ladies...a lot of them are looking like skittles. For the fellas the tight jeans, and colorful shirts and sneaks are a little funnie (and I don't mean funnie like "ha, ha") 1. Please no more tights with big shirts!! (in moderation) 2. Please no more fake Mr. T chains!!

Hey what is this all about...why do girls knock other girls just because? I do not understand why I have to deal with nasty attitudes and rude looks from the same sex just because. It may have a lot to do with their own insecurity. I am a very polite person to people I do not know. It saddens me when I am nice to a girl and she gets an attitude for no reason. Or when I am walking down the street and she turns her lip up at me. Or when I am at a store and they just have attitude. Now, I would hate to think that this is just a female thing. Now I do notice guys who feel the need to stare each other down when they walk by each other. I hear its some kind of ego thing, like they cannot look away because then it would mean that the other male won the "silent eye-staring contest"? So is it an insecurity thing? Are girls really just mad because they feel the other looks better, more accomplished, etc? These are the only things that I can come up with. But its just stupid...

So depending on when you meet me.....most people remember me as a pretty slim girl. I would never say skinny because my boobs definitely defy that definition. But thats all I ever really had....is huge boobs, and a little hips. Well within the last 3 months this has definitely changed. When I committed to my workout routine in December 2007....I was doing such a good job...I was working out 4-5 times a week...about 1-1.5 hours a day...it was great!! It kept me busy, a good way to meet people, and it keep my body looking just great. However, I took a visit to ATL and came back with a few pictures of myself. I started to look at myself and I was like...Damn, I'm getting hella skinny!! My collar bone was sticking out, I wasn't fitting my pants right, and everyone was saying "Dang Raven, your getting small." So..................I decided to cut back on my working out....this went from 4 days for an hour....to 3 days.....to non-existent. In the middle of this disinte...

Hey, I just have to get a little bit "X-Rated" for a second...Now, I don't know if you already knew this rule...but it took me a while before I learned it... Let's see...I lost my virginity pretty late in my life....in my sophomore year in college...I never really knew much about sex, besides what I heard on TV and what my friends would tell me about their "Sex-capades"...I heavily relied on what I saw on TV though...it always looked so great on TV. Anyways, I knew that when I watched sex scenes on TV....both parties looked like they was really enjoying themselves. The only thing I knew when I started my own "sex-capades" was that I wanted SEX TO BE LIKE IN THE MOVIES!! Let me tell you....uhh, it didn't quite happen that way...I started to realize that the boys had most of the fun...I mean, they always came!! I thought maybe it was something wrong with me....but when I looked them in their face...they seemed to be enjoying themselves!! So......

I am going through this internal battle about me and my relationships with my friends. Its very hard. I am finding it very hard to sort my thoughts. I am not quite sure what to do? how to do it? Well here is the issue... Have you ever felt that you are giving your friends more than what they give you? Well I live in Sacramento, and most of my friends are back in Davis or in Oakland. I do most of the keeping in contact with people. If it wasn't for me, we would probably talk and see each other only every other month or so. So I know what I should do....I should be giving people as much as they are giving me...But consider this...if everyone is giving me 50%...then what am I left with....I guess I could focus my energy on something else...like my studies, working out, life, finances...yeah, but thats boring stuff (I HATE RESPONSIBILITIES)...I do want to have fun with my friends...I hate being alone...I love being around people...so if I cut them out, then what...but if I don...

So....I decided to drink tonite...why? I guess because I have been working hella hard this week and the f*cking strike is NEXT WEEK!! SO...I'm like f*ck it!! I'm drinking tonight!! Well anyways me and the Boyfriend are having a drink together....my drink of choice was Jack and Vanilla Coke...yeah people say i'm hella old for drinking Jack and Coke...but i love it...i mean i F*CKING love it...and screw what other people think...my boyfriend drink of choice is Ever Williams and Coke...its a Whiskey, so our mines was in the same place.... Well right now...im on some i dont give a f*ck what other people think...but in reality i think that what other people have to say about you does seem to determine your behavior sometime...i hate it when people are like that they just dont care what other people think....i do believe that there are people who are like this...but that is slim...lets be honest with ourselves...sometimes we don't wanna hear the why'd you do this or the...

Yea, I know...im a big flirt!! I get it all the time. I remember back in high school when a teacher called my mom in for a parent and teacher conference (who would have known? a 4.0 student needing parent/teacher conferences....thats because the teacher was a hater...she was the one who halted my 4.o for a whole year because she just refused to give me higher than a C...isn't that just f*cked up!! Like whats her beef with me....How am I getting A's in all the rest of my classes and only one C....just doesn't make any sense...well after that parent/teacher conference...and my mom checkin' her....she gave me a B....as you can see I'm still a little bitter...let me get back on topic). One of her complaints (on top of the fact that I spoke my mind and I refused to let a teacher just sit on her ass) was that I flirt to much with the boys. It wasn't always this way. In elementary I was a bit quiet and skinny (until I had Larry). Then going into junior high school ...

I was in Atlanta this weekend. This is probably the third time that I've been out there; however, I am always amazed at how many black people are there. During my first visit...I didn't really notice it too much because I was doing a lot of the tourist things. But this time around I ran into a lot of the locals. It was just kind of amazing to see black people everywhere. I'm from California. A place where all shades of people are just everywhere. So I am not used to just being around people like myself. Even at the restaurants...the hostess, waitress/waiter, busters, cooks...were all black!! My boyfriends says that most of his working building (Fulton County Health Department) is black. I sat and envisioned a place like that. How would it be to work around nothing but black people? Some people are more comfortable when they are around people of there same ethnic background. I can agree to this. I do enjoy being around people like me; however, I do not have to ...

So I currently reside in Sacramento, Ca. I moved out here about 8 months ago. I never really visited Sacramento much while I lived in Davis (15 minutes away, this could be because I didn't have a car...even more embarrassing I didn't learn to drive until I was 20...anyways that a story for a different entry) So anyways, one of the first things I notice was the abundance of interracial couples. Its all over the place. The perfect place to see this is....the grocery store. Anytime I walk into a grocery store, this is all that I see. For the most part, it is black males with white women. You see little light skinned, curly head kids everywhere. I know that people fall in love with the individual, so it really doesn't matter to me. But I never seen it so widespread. I believe that Sacramento has become the safe haven. I even have family, thats from Oakland, who I know dated within their race when they lived in Oakland. However, when they came to Sacramento...they st...

Well, I've had a few shots of Pravda Vodka (what a fancy bottle)...anyways, I just decided to reveal myself in my drunken state. My boyfriend states that he believes that we are most honest when we are intoxicated. At first, I totally denied it; however, I started to think about every time I'm drunk and things I decided to do. I do believe that we tend to say whatever we are thinking while we are drunk. Sometimes it takes a little "influence" to help you be a little bit more real. Thats kind of weird. But its slight reality!! Have you ever been a drunk dialer? What things have you said as a drunk dialer? Anything that I have said as I drunk dialer/text-er has not never been the truth, I just wished I never revealed myself. This was a lot easier than I thought typing while Im intoxicated. I guess because I was so focused on getting my point across while talking on the phone at the same time. My boyfriend is the one who got me drunk tonight. Yea we drink togethe...

It was back in elementary when I met the first guy that I figured was my everything. I could remember dreaming about him. He was the cutest thing walking the playground. I can remember writing down in my diary and describing every little baby muscle that I notice about him, how I enjoyed watching him play basketball, and how I loved it when he wore that white tank top. Yea, it was puppy love. The thing about this whole situation is that I don't even remember how we actually became an item. But it did happen and we was one of the "known" couples in my elementary. Now some people may be thinking "Wow, elementary...does that even count?" Well growing up in West Oakland and attending Prescott Elementary it definitely did. I remember hearing stories of little girls and boys doing "the nasty" on the roof, in the traffic storage room, etc. I recall friends of minds cutting (yes, cutting in elementary) school to go to the store for black n milds and ...

These few words, I just knew I wouldn't hear pass high school. I don't know how other ladies feel, but I am so tired of this line. Do I really need to explain how I am hearing it? Well, when guys try to get at you this is what some call out. This is not all the time;however, it still happens quite frequently. I find it so annoying because it just lacks any kind of creativity. First of all, why are you calling me from a distance. Do you really expect for me to walk to you? Now when I first started this whole "boy chase girl" game, I admit I would walk to some guys. BUT THAT WAS EARLY JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL!! It didn't take long to start requesting that they meet me half way. By the time I was in high school, I wasn't walking to anyone...If you had something to say to me then you needed to catch up with me. Now, at 22 I still have to hear this sh*t. Why do some guys ask you for your name and then immediately ask for your number? WHAT!?! Fool, you never ...

I think that could have been the best song that India Arie could have made, well one that is so relevant to me. I decided to lock my hair...umm, sometime back in October. My reason being, I got tired of straighten my hair. I was tired of my straight hair hindering me from doing everyday things in life i.e. working out, swimming, "going hard in the club". I was tired of saying "Girl, I can't sweat out my hair." It just started to sound real dumb. I also said back in high school when graduate from college then I would lock it up. My rational back then was I believed I would have grown to a point in which I would be comfortable with my nappy hair. So anyways, I first went natural. I took out my braids and started to wear my hair in its natural state. Let me tell you, that was hard!! My hair was so hard to manage. So, I just got lazy and was like "I'm just locking this sh*t up." When I starting to lock my hair, I started to notice the diffe...