WHEN A BIRD SINGS....

One thing that I have been struggling with lately has been friendships. Friendships. Seems as you start to get older, you start to drift apart from friends. Also, as you get older, it becomes difficult to make new friends.  Now that I have lived in Maryland for 2 years, it has been difficult coming to terms with the distance that I am away from friends (and family) back home. However, I think I believed I had a different expectation of how our friendships may evolve due to the distance. Yes, we are no longer in the same physical area, but that wouldn't caused a wedge in our union. (I now beg to differ). I do not hear much from my friends back home. Hell, I haven't had anyone visit either. Maybe a casual group text or a #shoutout here and there, but not the way I would like. I do not have social media, so I do not have that instant gratification of knowing what your friends are up too. BUT, I know I do what I can. I call, I text, I Marco Polo (a more intimate social media pl...

Just wanted to share the cutest little walking thing on earth...

Like, I need to get my sh*t together. I have been waking up the past few months and looking at myself in the mirror and really unhappy with what I see. What I do know, is that I have the discipline to do what needs to be done. However, I am tired of it going in waves. Like I go through these phases. A lot of this has to do with stress and depression. It will really kill you. I recently turned 32. Like, when did that happen though. I swear time be moving. You better move with it or you will get left. I know right now my body and my mind looks and feel sad. And, I really want to have a better hold over both. I need to take the reins back on my health. I need to do what is right for Raven. I am getting no younger. And, I know I want to be in the best health before I start popping out little Raven's lol. OMG! Like, I am seriously in baby-making age. LOL, thats pretty scary, I cannot lie. But I gotta have my body and mind right. Sometimes we get so focused on the body, and we forget the...

One my ongoing self exploration journey,lol, I have longed for something to connect with. I have always thought there had to be more. Not feeling as if this place we called America really belonged to me. Not feeling like it is my rightful place. Not feeling like my culture is deep enough. After traveling out of the country 5 times in 2 years (crazy! I know, I am sitting my a** down lol). I have found a new sense of pride in what it means to be American.  I know I would see the American flag and not know whether or not I can identify with it. Looking at America as it being the White man's country. Not being appreciative for all the blood and sweat that my elders put in building this country. I had for a long time envied my friends that were from other countries. How they can wear their colors proudly. How they can come together and enjoy their homeland food. It all clicked when I was in Togo. Like wait? We have all that in America.  I am proud to be American. I am even ...

So I finally made it. Awaited so long to go to Africa. Sh*t, anywhere in Africa. But, West Africa in particular. Why? Supposedly because of the Transatlantic Slave Trade. The dark history of what brought enslaved Africans to the Americas. The need to feel a connection to a long, lost, homeland. Being able to see with my own eyes what some of the countries are like. Well, instead of taking a trip to the beach this year for my birthday, I decided to go to Togo.  Here in Maryland, my closest thing to a family are a group of people from Togo. Before moving to the area, I had not known anyone from the country before. But spending most of my weekends with these guys, I have learned some things about the culture, food, music and language. One of them was traveling back home this month, so I decided to tag along. At first, I thought I would base my decision on what country to visit on my DNA results. I had that done a few months ago and the results came back saying that my bloodline was ...

So this picture doesn't quite reflect my current state of mind, but use your imagination and picture 10 other bees surrounding that butterfly. LOL. A butterfly among bees. When I think of this, I think of the individual butterfly. Flying around, pollinating, spreading love and beauty, nourishing plants, and bringing smiles to those that see it fly by. Then there are the bees. Pretty much doing the same thing, but BUZZING! Moving really quickly from plant to plant to pollinate. They are very intentional, they are on a mission, and then reporting back to the queen bee. Very much a hierarchy to their madness.  My current state of mind. Since I have moved from Oakland to DC, I have definitely struggled with finding my place. With connecting to the community. And most importantly, finding my place in the world of work. Its different here (as with most places that are not home). But, its like really different here. The pace of work (everyone just BUZZING around lol), how people speak...

Exercise Meditation Good Food ....then repeat 😊😊

Yes, overall I am a pretty positive person. One of the young homie's put it best "Raven, you have such a happy disposition." Yes, this is true. My outward facing is positive, easy going, free spirited human being. However, I battle low moments also. Feeling not confident. Feeling inferior. Feelings of confusion. Feelings of negativity. Feeling like, "why must I live this type of life?" And what I am learning more and more, that is also me. Because even happy people get sad... This is something I cannot run from. Life throws us all kinds of twist and turns. Put us in situations that pushes our thinking of what we have imagined ourselves to be, And sometimes, when these moments occur, we are not sure how to react. And for me, a lot of times, I can easily just shut down. When I shut down, it is very hard to function. Very hard to be productive. And even more hard to remain positive.  When I have these moments, the logical person knows what it is that I have ...

You are my constant When I was learning, growing and changing, you were my present I've always wrestled with the end goal of love.. ..of companionship not really knowing what that looked like but through life experiences and learnings, I persisted not allowing my past to dictate the future but allowing the past to help direct I've had many experiences all that I am so grateful for because I can now sit before you today and say I am ready I have been groomed I have been refined I know the purpose and above all, it is to be loved to be open to accepting love to be flexible to other desires I have ran to you I have ran away from you at times I have felt undeserving   but now I run closer with my heart willing and open the only true constant in life is change I'm forever evolving As my constant, you know that more than anyone   But i'll let my actions speak Howe...