WHEN A BIRD SINGS....

I just want to take a moment and thank the creator for the Black man.  Thank you for bringing such beauty, strength, will power, body, determination into our lives. (I almost used a stock photo for this post, but then I thought..wait, I have hella beautiful a** Black men around me...miss these guys  *insert emoji kisses* )

So I would think that this is likely the last book review of the year for me. I finally finished this book "You Look Like Something Blooming: A Memoir of Divination Seeds to Cultivate Your Feminine Garden Temple" by India Ame'ye.  About a year ago, my mom sent me a super nice poetic piece about the Yoni aka Nana aka P*ssy and I just fell in love with the author. She was just so frank and her words so powerful...speaking from one goddess to another goddess. So, I had seen that she was releasing a book, and I thought I must have it.  When I first started the book, it was hard for me to follow.  That's because India has a very non-traditional way of writing. At first it frustrated me, and I put it down.  Then I decided, well she does have some good and different content, so let me push my mind to think differently about the book. What I enjoyed most is India's comfort with her body.  She is very much in tune with her temple and does what she can to nurture i...

I live in a country where we acknowledge Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner as woman of the year, Charlie Sheen announces HIV status on TV,  Rachel Dolezal makes national news for pretending to be Black,  and Beyonce makes a commercial to play during the super bowl to announce that she's vegan. LIKE, WTF! I'm just saying.  I need to do a better job at really eliminating this pop culture sh*t. Because I do have a choice.  And I have been falling in line, I must admit. But, man...I just can't take this sh*t no mo'. LOL (shoutout to my inability to spell out profanity, lol, I just feel tacky doing so. And if you ever see me do, sh*t just got real. LOL)

If there is one thing that I know for certain, is that there are so many realities among us all.  It is so many ways to live this human experience.  So when questioning, what is right or what is wrong? How does one do so? The beauty of life is that no one has the answer. Well, see..even some would dispute me about that one. LOL. I find it very interesting that we are building relationships everyday with people who may or may not share our beliefs about "reality".  Like, what is the purpose of this human experience? Like, what is the most robust way of living? How do we build these relationships and come together, and value each other's stance on what reality means for each other.  How important is it to build with those who do not share your stance on reality? What impact does it have to only surround yourself with like consciousness? I think about this as a person who carries a lot of passion in what I have presumed to be my reality so far.  I say that beca...

I woke up this morning with a heavy heart.  For a couple of different reasons.  So, the first thing I did was meditate.  I felt that it was important that I center myself.  And bring down my emotions and calm my heart.  Then I played a series of gospel songs because for me its inspirational music.  It feels good to the soul whether I identify with the Christian religion or not, its purely GOOD SOUL music.  It awakens the spirit.  Checking my daily news, and the Paris attacks are everywhere.  More videos of terrorist threats. Retaliation strikes. Deaths. Sadness. Fear.  You see on popular social networking, with people pouring out their support and sympathy.  You see others recognizing and calling out all the other atrocities that has happened (a lot to a people of color) that has not gotten this level of attention or media coverage. Value of life. 1st world, "2nd world" (okay, what is that). 3rd world.   Governments,...

One thing I know...is that no one will ever love me better than me.   Waking up the last few mornings, and thinking aloud like... "I F'N LOVE RAVEN WILLOUGHBY"

I was asked to be the guest speaker for the Program Ceremony at Next Step Learning Center.  It is an organization dedicated to helping adults receive their High School Diploma Equivalency.  The ceremony was to honor those adults who had received their Equivalency and also those who were inducted into the National Adult Education Honor Society. I was humbled by the opportunity.

Today it happened. It was amazing. It was unreal.  It was beautiful. Today I finally reached true meditation. Total body relaxation. Total free of thought. And just existing. I have been committed to 15 minutes of meditation since July 21st.  This morning I experience something that's kinda hard to explain. As I went to get up, after my meditation, its like I had no control of my body. I could barely stand on my two feet.  I had a glass in my hand, and as I wobbled to the kitchen;  I could feel that I was unable to hold myself up.  So I leaned against a wall. As a stood for a moment, I watched as the glass slipped right out of my hand and splattered all across my hardwood floors.  It was at that moment that I snapped out of it. My initial reaction "OMG, did that just happen?" LOL..I felt so accomplished.  I felt great. My coworker had asked, "was anything different this morning than the other mornings?" I said, great question.  I...

HA! #shoutout to my photographer.,. Samuel Cain  http://samuelcaindiary.tumblr.com/

YES! AND I HAVE A STRONG DESIRE TO CHANGE WHAT I AM DIGESTING! I am a big eater! Like, I always want to eat.  I am confessing...food has had a hold on me for a very long time.  No matter how hard I work out, I have yet to reach what I really want to reach because of my diet intake. But, this is not about a body image thing.  I think that's the wrong focus.  Its strictly about health.  It's true, I am 30 now..lol...with age, comes different needs for the body. My body is my temple. Its the holder of my goddess spirit.  I must ensure that it is properly taken care of.  I want to make sure its getting all the RIGHT nutrients. Like really, as much as a like hot cheetos...like, what the F is that red stuff? Its tasty, but it can't be good for me.  As much as a like sour patches, what the F is a sour patch? LOL...I am tired of artificial stuff...I want to eat more from the land...ingesting natural products Here's to a new conscious way of eating...

Not only did I turn 30! I went out of the country for the first time! Whoa, that's a lot of milestones for one month.  LOL It has the girl's mind working over time.  Jamaica was everything I imagined it to be.  I felt like it was the first time I had ever went to a real beach.  Like water that blue! That clear.  A girl had to let the waves take her away as my locs flowed and filled with salt water.  The people! All this time, I questioned the Rastas I've met.  Like, how come you all are so warm? is it genuine?  And omg! Jamaicans are just like that.  Its just true to who they are.(well I speak as a woman, who most interactions were with men..sooooo...lol) I went to see the Luminous Lagoon.  Now, it has some kind on one cell microorganism in the water...that when disturbed...it glows.  I mean, the water is glowing.  Its a true magical experience.   My friend Christoper showed me his home in Race Course, Falmouth, Trel...

OMG! Today is a perfect reminder of exactly how I am feeling about life at this moment.  We work really hard to plan for our life. Well, let me speak for myself.  I do a lot of planning. Its really hard for me not to.  Although, in helping with my depression, I have worked really hard to live day to day. Not worrying about the future,because I cannot concern myself with the unknown.  I think its a true balance with living everyday and also, staying open and having some room for flexibility. Today, I woke up with a plan.  I had even dreamed of this plan.  I was going to get to the laundry by 6:30a, go to Zumba at 9am, then go to target to get me a blender, then take the bus to Farmer Joe's for my 5 day detox nutrition.  SO, I got up this morning, made it to the laundry, then realized I left my wallet at home.  I put my clothes in the machines, and ran back home.  I searched my house up and down and could not find it.  I remember havin...

One of the best days in my life was Friday, June 19, 2015.  I was, for the first time ever, able to participate in a championship parade in my city.  It was beautiful.  As a sports fan, I can finally feel what this kind of accomplishment means.  It just didn't get any better than that!! CONGRATULATIONS TO OUR WARRIORS FOR BRINGING THE TROPHY HOME! OAKLAND THANKS YOU!

THE FIT BIT!!! Listen, I am not hater...I am all about whatever motivates you to get into shape.  HOWEVER, please do not share with me your step count.  Cuz guess what, I just don't care! All these FIT BIT conversations...ugh! Sorry!

Sitting in my house...listening to music, while laying in my fresh skin for about 4 hours right now.  Just thinking about how bored I am.  Well really, how I wish I had some medicinal and could fall straight to sleep.  Its been about 5 days since I have had proper rest.  If you know me, like really know me, then you would know....its like 8 days til my birthday! And I am a birthday fanatic...So, I think the combination of being super excited about turning 30, plus my upcoming SunFest with my family, plus going out of the country for the first time is just WAAAAAYYYY too much excitement for the young Raven Willoughby (wait, did she just refer to herself in the third person? and is she continuing to do so? okay, lol...blame the lack of proper rest) Anyways...I'm like, Raven (there it goes again lol) snap out of it! Bored! Really there should be no such thing.  There is always something that you or I could be doing with our time to be productive.  So, I wrote ...

So, I just got out of Zumba class. I have missed the last couple of Sundays for whatever reason.  But, I could not help but want to come home and write about the pure joy that it brings me.  Where else can you get a good dance in, with a room full of people, and good music, and its totally okay to sweat! I absolutely love it! I am really big on blasting some good music and just dancing.  I do this a lot in my house, just by myself.  So, now I have a bunch of other ladies and gentlemen to share that joy with. In my Zumba class, there is just so many different type of people. Like, people I am sure do not party at the same kinds of places that I party.  So, I just love seeing all types of people moving and shaking their rumps! I see a twin pair, they come dressed very similar every time.  They have so much spunk and are some movers and shakers in Zumba.  Then there is the teacher protege.  Her smile is just contagious.  Then you have the Sa...

Someone I care about told me this...he said "Raven, just be!" I got frustrated at first and couldn't really receive the message. I'm just coming to embrace it. I have to live. I have to define my standard of living. I have to grow and shape myself into my truest form. I have to just BE! I share this photo as a friend caught me in action. Dancing in City Center, letting the beat of the drums move my body. Not caring about who is looking and not worried about my lunch in my hand...just feeling the music and the vibrations. Just BEING! What I've been working on is remaining positive. Focusing on the now. Paying attention to what's important in my life; for my personal growth and well being. Thank you to my loved one for always awakening some evolution in my being. I appreciate your presence. 

So the first book that I finished in 2015 is "sisters of the yam: black women and self recovery" by bell hooks.  I've been on a 6 month mission to regain control of my emotions.  My mom had been suggesting a self-help book for the longest.  I was anti-self help books and had been for a long time.  I'm like, no one can tell me how to live my life but myself.  BUT I took my mom's advice and stepped outside the box. I decided on a book by bell hooks, well because I am a trained academic.  I tend to give more respect to people who are also trained academically.  bell hooks is a well known Black feminist author.  I can say that I have read some of her work, but I haven't worship'd it.  I say that because people worship her and her thinking. lol. I guess I have never identified as a feminist.  Not that I don't believe in women rights or women equality, I just never identified myself as a feminist.  I've had some issues with owning my wo...

I have a friend Marisha Dixon.  This girl is a grinder.  Every time I turn around, she is creating something.  I love her drive, her motivation, her strength, her perseverance.  She has been inspiring me over the years to just go for what I want. The Authentic Me Campaign is to encourage young girls and women to purge their old beliefs, insecurities, self doubt, fears etc.  Find out more information here:   http://www.theauthenticmecampaign.com/the-authentic-me-campaign-epk/

People always have something negative to say about Oakland and especially Oakland public schools.  Although they are right in some ways, but they are also very wrong in other ways.  When I hear, "Oakland don't do nothing for their students"....its hella irritating.  Well first because I work for Oakland Unified, and I know that I am working really hard for my teachers.  So its just disrespectful to all of the hard working people that are working at the schools to transform student lives. And one way that is happening, that's been happening, has been through our career themed academies.  We call it Linked Learning.  Career themed academies provides a holistic approach to learning. Where teachers are working in teams, all subject areas are focused on a particular career industry, students are apart of a small learning community, students get extra support, students participate in career related experiences.   So me and 3 other women, Courtne...

Broken..the feeling of being shattered The heart…once solid…now in pieces Confused…not sure how this happened to me, to us The union….so strong, believed to be unbreakable The seed…replenishes the earth, brings joy and life, carries on your legacy Devotion…can it still stand? What room is there left for me? ______________________________________________________ Who knew a hurt like this before? My perfect vision being jolted by reality Could it have ever been perfect? I idealized us, what we were and what I wanted us to be Now faced with truth and the limitations of my imagination How to move forward? Where’s the tools? Life has cheated me; provided me with no armor to face this So I sit, think, contemplate…and pray to the universe for a vision of realism

I had been doing some thinking about how to make difficult decisions in life?  I actually decided to Google it...lol, because of course Google knows everything.  One of the first things that came up was a T.E.D talk by Ruth Chang.  I am not that into the T.E.D talk movement, but I decided to give it a shot.  I am not going to go into great detail about what the video was about (will provide the link at the end of this blog), but one thing that stood out that she discussed was how decision-making relates to our values. I took a moment to think about, okay, what are my values? Honestly, I could not come up with anything.  So this evening, I took sometime to do some research.  Leave it to an academic to always want to research some sh*t. LOL In doing some reading about values, the first question that comes up is: What is important to me?  Values are important because they help to guide our actions.  They reflect, or at least should reflect how we...

Its official! 

NEW YEAR, NEW ME! Sike, I'm still the same ol Raven...lol, growing at a steady pace.  Focused on my goals, ready to achieve more and more. I have not taken the time to do much reflecting on the past year. But I will later in a document produced by HappyBlackWoman.com. But one thing I can say, is that I ended 2014 right.  And what does that mean? I submitted a complete full draft of my master's thesis.  Wow! I was super excited on Dec. 28th to press that submit button.  For those who do not know, they expected it to be finished a while back ago.  Well maybe, around June 2012 when I had crossed the stage.  However, life happened! First off, my program did not really provide me with all the tools that I needed to succeed.  I struggled a lot in grad school, so trying to write the thesis while I was in school just did not happen.  Then immediately after school, I struggled finding full time employment.  My main concern was my everyday, not a the...