WHEN A BIRD SINGS....

Back in October, the Black Panther came to visit me in a dream...the panther has many different symbolism, but what speaks to me most is "black panther's power includes guardian energy, symbol of the feminine, death and rebirth, reclaiming of one's power". The setting was camp grounds...a group of people around; gallivanting...I seen a shadow in the dark...I immediately felt the presence of the panther....I watched as it lurked closer....I then warned the others and they all scurried in the cabin.. I stood on the porch as the protector....the panther walked slowly up the stairs and approached me...I stood my ground...it then stood on it's hinds legs and paused for like 10 secs and we was just locked eyes....I was in a trance because it's beauty was stunning....then it pounced; I wrestled with it and it ran off....I ran in the cabin with the others....and the panther came back; looking for me. So I worked my way through the crowd and took it on again....

For a good chunk of my life, I have dealt with cycles of sadness.  It comes and it goes...sometimes out of no where.  It brings down my whole mood. I can't even function! Crippled! Where does it come from? I am not sure really, but my mind starts racing. Just thoughts going in and out of my head.  And these thoughts aren't good ones unfortunately.  Its like I replay all of the negative things or the things I am not proud of or my lack of success or my misfortunes or what I don't have.  These things just play over and over in my head and I cannot stop them. It makes me feel weak, it makes me feel less than, it makes me feel worthless, it makes me feel just damn sad.  Unfortunately, this weekend was one of those weekends.  Although this may sound pretty miserable, well it is actually miserable, I have taken some steps to try and address this in my life. Therapy. Mindfulness. Self help book. I am just in the beginning of the "fix-it" stage, so...