WHEN A BIRD SINGS....

Broken..the feeling of being shattered The heart…once solid…now in pieces Confused…not sure how this happened to me, to us The union….so strong, believed to be unbreakable The seed…replenishes the earth, brings joy and life, carries on your legacy Devotion…can it still stand? What room is there left for me? ______________________________________________________ Who knew a hurt like this before? My perfect vision being jolted by reality Could it have ever been perfect? I idealized us, what we were and what I wanted us to be Now faced with truth and the limitations of my imagination How to move forward? Where’s the tools? Life has cheated me; provided me with no armor to face this So I sit, think, contemplate…and pray to the universe for a vision of realism

I had been doing some thinking about how to make difficult decisions in life?  I actually decided to Google it...lol, because of course Google knows everything.  One of the first things that came up was a T.E.D talk by Ruth Chang.  I am not that into the T.E.D talk movement, but I decided to give it a shot.  I am not going to go into great detail about what the video was about (will provide the link at the end of this blog), but one thing that stood out that she discussed was how decision-making relates to our values. I took a moment to think about, okay, what are my values? Honestly, I could not come up with anything.  So this evening, I took sometime to do some research.  Leave it to an academic to always want to research some sh*t. LOL In doing some reading about values, the first question that comes up is: What is important to me?  Values are important because they help to guide our actions.  They reflect, or at least should reflect how we...

Its official! 

NEW YEAR, NEW ME! Sike, I'm still the same ol Raven...lol, growing at a steady pace.  Focused on my goals, ready to achieve more and more. I have not taken the time to do much reflecting on the past year. But I will later in a document produced by HappyBlackWoman.com. But one thing I can say, is that I ended 2014 right.  And what does that mean? I submitted a complete full draft of my master's thesis.  Wow! I was super excited on Dec. 28th to press that submit button.  For those who do not know, they expected it to be finished a while back ago.  Well maybe, around June 2012 when I had crossed the stage.  However, life happened! First off, my program did not really provide me with all the tools that I needed to succeed.  I struggled a lot in grad school, so trying to write the thesis while I was in school just did not happen.  Then immediately after school, I struggled finding full time employment.  My main concern was my everyday, not a the...

Back in October, the Black Panther came to visit me in a dream...the panther has many different symbolism, but what speaks to me most is "black panther's power includes guardian energy, symbol of the feminine, death and rebirth, reclaiming of one's power". The setting was camp grounds...a group of people around; gallivanting...I seen a shadow in the dark...I immediately felt the presence of the panther....I watched as it lurked closer....I then warned the others and they all scurried in the cabin.. I stood on the porch as the protector....the panther walked slowly up the stairs and approached me...I stood my ground...it then stood on it's hinds legs and paused for like 10 secs and we was just locked eyes....I was in a trance because it's beauty was stunning....then it pounced; I wrestled with it and it ran off....I ran in the cabin with the others....and the panther came back; looking for me. So I worked my way through the crowd and took it on again....

For a good chunk of my life, I have dealt with cycles of sadness.  It comes and it goes...sometimes out of no where.  It brings down my whole mood. I can't even function! Crippled! Where does it come from? I am not sure really, but my mind starts racing. Just thoughts going in and out of my head.  And these thoughts aren't good ones unfortunately.  Its like I replay all of the negative things or the things I am not proud of or my lack of success or my misfortunes or what I don't have.  These things just play over and over in my head and I cannot stop them. It makes me feel weak, it makes me feel less than, it makes me feel worthless, it makes me feel just damn sad.  Unfortunately, this weekend was one of those weekends.  Although this may sound pretty miserable, well it is actually miserable, I have taken some steps to try and address this in my life. Therapy. Mindfulness. Self help book. I am just in the beginning of the "fix-it" stage, so...

I've been on my fitness lately.  Working out at least 4-5 days a week. Biking about 12-20 miles a day.  I'll be 30 next year.  And although as a young teen, I seen myself already married with children.  LOL, ohh young Raven.  Well I wanted to take control over an aspect in my life that I had full control of, and that is shaping my body.  I am super excited to spend my 30th birthday waking up on the beach in Jamaica, and a sista wants to look good doing it.  LOL Conscious eating and working out...doing what fits into my life and does not disrupt! Love self.