WHEN A BIRD SINGS....

So when is a good time to get rid of all reminders of the EX's? Do you not keep old pictures, text, emails around...when involved with someone new? Is there a general rule to this...thoughts??

So I've just heard this recently from my dove. I've also heard this from my mother. I've also heard this from my close girlfriends. "RAVEN, YOU LIKE CRAZY" Umm...weird right??! It began when I was a teenager. I would always attract,uhh, not so normal people. They would come and talk to me..at the bus stop, grocery store, etc etc. I would ask my mom "why do crazy people always talk to me?" At the time...my definition of crazy were "social rejects." Anyways, as I have gotten older and involved in many different kinds of situations and relationships...I begin to wonder..do I really like crazy?? Okay, life is complicated...but do I enjoy this complication? Do I feed off it? On paper...I believe Raven is much simpler...however, when I begin to think about myself...i believe I have much more complexities than I can even bare to understand at this point.

So, I got back into the gym today!! YAY!! After over 6 months...I'm in it to win it?? LOL Anyways, I started with cardio and legs today (ohh, always stomach...but I alternate days between legs and arms/back) Yeah, trying to get things tight for the summer...i'm mean, its only right!! Rihanna Pandora station and Aquafina got me through tonight. I am also prizing myself with stickers on a calender. This way it holds me responsible and it also challenges me (because I'm so competitive) Shoutout to the homie Galit for giving me this idea, and getting me back motivated. So #shoutout to all the folks getting rid of the winter dead weight; and prepping to show some skin!! GO RAVEN!! LOL Excuse the sweaty picture...but it was right after working out ;-)

So, Osama is dead...and people sing the national anthem... I guess its something like when people go to the viewing of the person on death row... Umm...I guess I'm suppose to feel joyous?? Well, to be honest I don't. First, I am not in support of the death penalty. So why can the state have the power to kill to retaliate, but we can't. I'm just saying...not that I have plans too...but just think about it?? Now, I know this guy was dangerous...even more reason why I would have liked to see him locked up forever!! But his death doesn't stop Al Quaeda, and its not bringing the troops home. It also doesn't heal the hearts of the thousands of families affected by the 9/11 attack. So, do I raise my American Flag, eat a burger, and shout "I'm Proud to be American"...no Maybe I'll do that when we write a new Constitution...one that does not have the blood of my ancestors behind it; one that was written to include all people Maybe I'll do that ...

So I feel like we have been socialized to prepare for the worst. And i am not sure why. Well, I guess it can come in handy when you are talking about practical things such as school, career, finances. Maybe that is the case. It is good to have a Plan A, B, C. However can you prepare for the worst when it comes to love and happiness? In love and happiness, preparing for the worst...is prepping yourself for a heartbreak. I think if I spent my time occupying my mind with the "would ifs" and if all those "would ifs" are negative; I will drive myself crazy. I also believe that in the process of preparing for the worst; you make your mind believe or come up with things. You also start to do things unlike yourself. If you are trying to enjoy an experience with another individual, and all you can think about is the negative "would ifs", then you may push yourself away. I am working on living in the moment. Trying to withstand the things that are outside ...

REFER TO YOURSELF AS A "BAD B*TCH" WEAR A TUTU (come on!! I thought that'll be a given) HAVE SEX ON THE DANCE FLOOR SPORT A BUSTED WEAVE TOO MUCH PROFANITY ON SOCIAL NETWORKS (its just not a good look) STILL TALK ABOUT HATERS (where they do that at) TAKE A PICTURE OF YOURSELF, IN EVERY OUTFIT YOU OWN, AND POST IT ON FB RETWEET, WHAT SOMEONE ELSE RETWEET'S OF YOURS, JUST TO SHOW PPL ARE RETWEETIN YOUR SH*T TAKE PICTURES OF YOU WITH BOTTLES OR MARY JANE AND ITS PROBABLY MORE...BUT THESE ARE JUST A FEW THAT HAVE BEEN WORKING MY NERVES!!!

Just when it is expected that i'll blog something about "the new me" or "changes for 2011".... As 2011 begins, I do minimal reflecting on 2010 because it was a very rough year for me. The top positive was me going to graduate school...other than that; it was rough!! But the summer of 2009 is by far one of the best times in my life. I always talk about how i'm not sure what all I was doing (actually, I know exactly what I was doing...guys, alcohol, and dancing). I had decent paying jobs, but I was at my mom's house. For a moment, I beat myself up about that...and thats what kept me out of the house!! I was avoiding my reality. Either way...doing just that, I had an F'n good time. I went out a lot, partied, meet a few new people, just enjoyed being me. "These goes my baby"-Charlie Wilson...that was my anthem!! I was also a karaoke fiend!! LOL...i'm reminiscing because although all these things may seem...umm...minuscule or without su...