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The Independent Woman

I have had two different people call me out this week about my reluctance for help/assistance.  About the forthcoming of my independent spirit and my desire to do it alone.  I have to acknowledge that this is something that I am working on.

 I have a very strong spirit.  I am committed to making sure that my life is in my hands.  I want to make sure that I have given myself a fair shot and put forth all the effort I have to get me where I want to go (where is it that I want to go? Umm, that I am still discovering).  

 However, sometimes my strong spirit gets in the way of accepting help from others.  I am really not sure where this independent mind of minds came from.  Maybe it has something to do with being the oldest child.  I have always wanted to do things "on my own." But I do acknowledge, that no success, no hurdle I have crossed, was done all by myself.

 I think sometimes I am afraid of showing vulnerability.  For whatever reason, I equate getting help as being "not so strong" or weak.  When I know that isn't true, it is how my body reacts (initially).

 I made a move a few months ago from California to the DC area.  2 months into this move, I am starting to acknowledge what it means to be alone.  To be without a network of support.  This is a very different feeling than the independent girl who had such a wide network of support around her.  

 Having this experience brings up all kinds of feelings...insecurities, doubt, fear....But I allow myself to feel those things, then I let them pass.  I cannot allow them to bring me down, and hinder my success (and that definition of success is consistently evolving).

 Anyways, what I am acknowledging is that being an independent woman does not have to mean that I conquer this world alone.  Its a daily lesson...
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