I thought I understood what it meant to be in love. I feel like I have had pretty meaningful relationships in my short time here on Earth. I've filtered through the real and the fake. I've been on a lot of dates. I've been loved, chased, lusted after, and so on and so on.
But I have also loved. And I get really involved emotionally. So once I figured the love is lost, I get a little confused. Trying to reevaluate how real the love was. Is it just love or is it being in love? I know there is a difference because I have a lot of love to give; however, this in love stuff is hard to deal with once its lost. I've been taking look at situations that I've been involved in and trying to differentiate how I was feeling at each time. I guess every time you believe your in love its a new emotion. Being in love with one person is not the same as being in love with the next.
How do you know which love is worth saving? Worth working through? Or time to let it go...How do you cultivate long lasting love?
I decided in college that I was going to make myself a tool for my community. I was no longer about self. I would dedicate my work life to serving my community. I figure if I help my community then I would get the biggest return. I've dropped the whole need to make lots of money because its just really not that important.
I just wanted to question why is it that so many people are just about self? Why is it always about "Gettin' mines" or "Living my life". How are we suppose to sustain or build our community up if everyone is just considering themselves? My community is my extended family and if its not healthy then where does it leave me. Where does that leave my future children? I just want to invoke thought on individualism vs a sense of community.
But I have also loved. And I get really involved emotionally. So once I figured the love is lost, I get a little confused. Trying to reevaluate how real the love was. Is it just love or is it being in love? I know there is a difference because I have a lot of love to give; however, this in love stuff is hard to deal with once its lost. I've been taking look at situations that I've been involved in and trying to differentiate how I was feeling at each time. I guess every time you believe your in love its a new emotion. Being in love with one person is not the same as being in love with the next.
How do you know which love is worth saving? Worth working through? Or time to let it go...How do you cultivate long lasting love?
I decided in college that I was going to make myself a tool for my community. I was no longer about self. I would dedicate my work life to serving my community. I figure if I help my community then I would get the biggest return. I've dropped the whole need to make lots of money because its just really not that important.
I just wanted to question why is it that so many people are just about self? Why is it always about "Gettin' mines" or "Living my life". How are we suppose to sustain or build our community up if everyone is just considering themselves? My community is my extended family and if its not healthy then where does it leave me. Where does that leave my future children? I just want to invoke thought on individualism vs a sense of community.
Hi Ravenbabie,
ReplyDeleteWell, I just had to write something in response to these deep thoughts...especially about love. You already know how I feel about giving yourself to your community - I'm right there with you, girl.
Not that it helps when you're in the moment to hear other people's experiences, but I just wanted to tell you the tale of how I found out which love is worth saving. The short answer is: the love worth saving is the one which matches you own definition/version of love most exactly.
See, I had a boyfriend a few years ago who loved me THE MOST that HE PERSONALLY could. He thought that I was absolutely IT for him and he loved me with all of his personal might. It was kind of sad, but when I saw his definition of love, and how his love manifested itself I was like "wow, is that it???"
The type of love that he could muster was very hands-off style, just kind of checking in from time to time, and very tepid. This type of love does NOT mesh with me, because I am a very passionate person that would do anything for the person that I love, and expect the same in return. I'm the kind of person who is very supportive during the tough times, and expect support (even if that means some sacrifice) back when I need it.
He wasn't capable of matching my definition of love, so I had to let him go. We don't talk now, but I'm pretty certain that he didn't move past that style of "superficial" love...with me or anyone else - that's just who he is and how he was taught to love someone.
Now I feel that I've found someone who has integrated himself into my version of love completely. He has the same idea of what I think love should be, which is the key because you both expect the same from the other person.
I don't know if that helps for the future, but it did help me to find what I was looking for. When I would meet a new man that I thought had possibility, I would always ask myself "how is he showing me that he can love? how does he love the other important people in his life? how does his love manifest itself?"
Just something to think about...
- Yam