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Even happy people get sad...

Yes, overall I am a pretty positive person. One of the young homie's put it best "Raven, you have such a happy disposition." Yes, this is true. My outward facing is positive, easy going, free spirited human being. However, I battle low moments also. Feeling not confident. Feeling inferior. Feelings of confusion. Feelings of negativity. Feeling like, "why must I live this type of life?" And what I am learning more and more, that is also me. Because even happy people get sad...

This is something I cannot run from. Life throws us all kinds of twist and turns. Put us in situations that pushes our thinking of what we have imagined ourselves to be, And sometimes, when these moments occur, we are not sure how to react. And for me, a lot of times, I can easily just shut down. When I shut down, it is very hard to function. Very hard to be productive. And even more hard to remain positive. 

When I have these moments, the logical person knows what it is that I have to do. However, sometimes you just want to sit in it. You want to have a moment to embrace what you are feeling in order to let it all out. But, I am good at putting a time constraint around that "sunken place." Because it isn't healthy to stay in it for long. So, I do what I need to do, in order to ground myself. 

BUT, the key is consistency. And what I am learning about myself, is that I can no longer go on these hypes of "fixing" myself. I need balance, And in order to stay in balance, I must make self-care a way of life instead of a temporary band-aid fix. 

So today, I am dedicating myself to myself. Dedicated to loving Raven, And to love Raven, to really love Raven, I must take care of myself. I cannot depend on others for that. This is not to say that I do not need help from other people, because I do. Even more than ever. And I have allowed myself to be vulnerable  and ask people for help. Never be afraid to ask for help. However, know that all people have their limitations. So, make sure that you do not expect no more from anyone, than they can give you.

Okay, back to self care. Its called soul food. Mind, Body and Soul. This girl needs wraparound services. A holistic approach. It is a journey. But I am ready for it. And I working to have folks around me who can be supportive to this journey. In a way that holds me accountable, but doesn't push me where I am not ready to be pushed. 

Today, I smile. Today, I feel renewed. Today, I focus on self. Today, I love me. Why, because I am a beautiful person. I am a great contribution to my community and this world. I desire to be the best version of self. And that takes time, patience, and dedication.

Remember to love self, limit the "sunken place" and never expect more from people than what they can provide.

Raven Willoughby, I f*cking love you!!
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