and just like that, I am a Mother!

First day home!

And finally the day has come. Magnus Baimarro Barley was born on New Year's Day! What better way to start the new year! Magnus entered this world on January 1, 2019 at 12:13 EST. He weighed 6.36 pounds and measured at 19 3/4 inches. Magnus is literally everything I could never imagine. And this is the story of how he entered the world...

Ever since I hit 38 weeks, I became more and more anxious about his arrival. I literally was dreaming about it constantly. I would constantly wake up in the morning hoping my bed was wet from my water breaking. It had seriously become an obsession. Not only an obsession, but also causing great anxiety. As I was approaching my 40 week mark, I had to start having conversations with my doctor about scheduling an induction at 41 weeks. So, we had that on the schedule. But, I really didn't want to have to be induce because of what I hear about how it can extend labor. So, I started to look into ways to naturally induce. Pineapple was my route. 

So, the start of my 39th week, I went to the store and cop'd 3 pineapples. I cut them up and I ate pineapple throughout the day. "Pineapple contains a type of proteolytic enzyme, bromelain that helps soften the cervix and induces labor." So, I guess I can never know if it was actually the pineapple or just the right time, but two days & two pineapples later, I woke up on Dec. 31st and my body was feeling strange. I told my fiance that I figured the baby was finally getting into position because I could feel it happening. Later that day, I started to have contractions. They were very low in my pelvic, so I wasn't for sure if this was actually the real thing.

Around 5pm that day, they started to come more regularly. That's when we pulled out the notepad and started recording them. I called my doctor an hour later, and she said if I wasn't planning to take meds, I told her no, so she said well to wait til I couldn't take it any more and go to the hospital. So we waited. 

We arrived at the hospital at 10:30p and they checked my cervix. I was only 1 cm dilated, so they sent us back home. I had plans to go to my in-laws house to make fried chicken and cupcakes. So we contemplated on headed over there. But we went home first. So, once I got back into the house, I'd figured it was safer to just stay home and watch the countdown with each other. 

Let's just say I don't remember a countdown lol. I remember being bent over on my pregnancy ball in serious pain and my fiance coming over and giving me a kiss to say "Happy New Year." About an hour into the new year, we were headed back to the hospital. 

The pain was something unbearable. I really couldn't believe what I was feeling. I felt so bad for my fiance because nothing he did was right. In that moment, I just wanted to punch everybody. I tried to stay focus on the breathing, but the pain was so overwhelming. 

Magnus with Grandma and meeting Reese

At the hospital, they checked my cervix and I was now 4-5 cm dilated, so I was admitted. They asked me several times did I want meds, I said no. So, I was determined to go through this without it. About 3 hours into it, I knew I wasn't going to last. I had become so overwhelmed with the pain. I wanted to cry but the tears wouldn't come. I looked at my fiance and said "Sorry, I can't do it. I need the meds." They came in with the epi and geez, who knew I was going to have to sit still with no movement for at least 5 mins going through serious contractions while they put it in. That was intense. 

I also recall telling the nurse "I have nothing to prove to anyone" before taking the meds. In that moment, I had to move pass my plans and go with what my body was feeling. I think maybe I had set up these expectations for myself and was in someway concerned with how others may view me and the decision to take meds. That's crazy! I was having a baby and going through those thoughts. Just goes to show how much unncessary pressure we can put on ourselves to be "Superwoman."

But anyways, after that, it made labor so much more bearable. I was able to sleep. Around 12:00p on January 1st, I was now 10 cm and it was time to push. So I did and Magnus arrived. 

Father and son!

The doctor handed him to me and all I could do was laugh and cry. I was overwhelmed. I couldn't even believe he was ours. And I looked at him and I loved him like a mother loves their child. He was everything. 

His dad was in such a state of shock, he stood there in tears. It was like he was in a trance. I was like "sweetheart, he's yours..feel free to touch him." LOL. It was beautiful.

What a journey this has been. I have been looking at him the last 6 days and still wonder how this all happened. I think "is he really mines?" lol. 





PS Name meaning: Magnus is a name from the Roman empire. It is latin for "Great." Baimarro (Bye-morrow) is a tribal name from Sierra Leone, Temne tribe, it loosely translates to "Chief." As of now, I call him Magnus aka Bam aka Magnus the Great aka Little Chief lol.